In a largish transmogrificationfrom my typical attitude, I have found myself more and more frequently striving to achieve what I like to call "Sexy Genius Hair."
Sexy Genius Hair, as you may have presupposed, is typically found on Sexy Geniuses. Note the capitalization, which, as we all know, distinguishes a Sexy Genius family from a sexy genius family. The former is fairly prevalent and found primarily in its native habitat of Television. That latter is far more rare and found exclusively in The Real World (this family is far more difficult to classify due to the conflicting list of characteristics used by different scientists for classification).
But back to the point. There are several major genuses of Sexy Genius, ranging from, to name but a few, the Awkwardly Adorable Sexy Genius to the Difficult and Actually Quite Rude but Fictionally Worth It Because He Is So Sexy Genius, to the Mysterious Sexy Genius; each can be relatively clearly categorized by its standard markings and iconic traits. Sexy Genius Hair, however, can be found throughout the family, and often will vary in nature with the particular genus and even species. Allow me to present some examples:
via this site that you probably shouldn't visit cause it looks shifty
As you can see, while it may be straight or curly, and even on rare occasions shortish, the real key to Sexy Genius Hair is that it must look simultaneously sexy, and yet also as though the Sexy Genius displaying it gives exactly zero bothers over it. Indeed, it can and often will be mussed frequently, after which it magically returns to perfect sexiness.
Obviously, it is important to note that Sexy Genius Hair is found almost exclusively on the males. Some scientists have argued that MPDG Hair is the female equivalent, but I maintain that the two are quite distinct and it is possible, though quite rare, for a female to achieve Sexy Genius Hair.
It is this belief which has inspired my own hirsute sartorial endeavors. One specimen in particular could reasonably be cited as the genesis of my ambitions...
Alas, I have not yet quite achieved a perfect Sexy Genius Hair. But today I got close.
And tomorrow I shall most likely try again. Rome was not built in a day, nor do species evolve over night. My Sexy Genius Hair is no more a simple endeavor than those, and so I press on with the struggle of looking effortless...
Did you listen to that song? If not, please stop reading for a second, scroll back up, and click play. Then you may continue reading.
Tonight I attended the Punch Brother's show in Park City. The song you should now be listening to was the song with which they opened their set and it was, if you can believe it, even better in person than that recording.
I was able to attend because of the truly magnificent generosity of my dear Matt, who decided that I needed to experience Punch Brothers live and so bought me a ticket as a birthday gift (somewhat prematurely, as my birthday is not till September).
Technically he bought me two tickets, though I intend to repay him for the second. The goal was for me to bring someone to the show with me. Unfortunately, it turns out that none of my friends love me enough to come see a band in Park City that most of them have never heard of, which hurt to discover, btw you guys (or, in the case of a few, they HAD heard of the band, they just had lame excuses like poverty or hanging out with their wife's sister who was in town for a short while).
As such, I ended up attending alone. Which was fine except for the part where all of my witty conversation and observations were wasted with no one to hear and inevitably appreciate them. Which is why I'm sharing them with you all now.
So, without further ado, here is a small selection of the conversations I WOULD have had tonight, had I had anyone to have them with....
....wow...it turns out I did not need to leave nearly so early to get up here. How shall I pass the hour and 45 minutes until the show starts? Staring at nothing? Sounds good....
....these people in front of me literally just pulled out 5 bottles of wine...
....This opening act is so boring that I'm daydreaming about getting a blood clot in my leg from this chair so I can leave to go take care of it...
....HOLY COW I LITERALLY CANNOT HANDLE WHAT AMAZING MUSICIANS THESE MEN ARE!!!....
mostly a picture of the drunk people in front of me, but also of the band all tiny at the front
....dude seriously, this song is so great....
....Chris Thile! So nerdy! So adorable! Might very possibly be the most awkward dancer in the entire world. Half the time he dances like Scott Pilgrim, the other half like he just needs to pee reeeeeally bad. He is an even more awkward dancer than Chris Martin....
....Dear Utah, please stop being so tacky and leaving 10-40 minutes early so you can "beat the traffic"....
....And THAT is how you play a bass solo!....
....My mind is still being blown by these guys. Totes 100% worth it!....
....WHAAAA???? Is he seriously busting out his Bach right now?! From memory of course. And this huge crowd of drunk people is actually digging it? Aw yissssss....
....they drank all five bottles of wine, one bottle per person. How are they getting home?....
....SHIRT!....
....Oh crap. I may never get home. I am 1000% lost on this mountain. I will die here. I wonder if anyone besides my mom will miss me. Oh, this is the road I'm supposed to be on. Ok, we're good....
....Dear Heber McDonald's: You might have very fancy bathrooms and a confusing layout, but you gave me diet Dr. Pepper (so nasty) and onions on my hamburger. We are not friends.....
....Who knew driving Heber canyon at night would be so fun! I should maybe slow down? I'll probably definitely get a ticket if a cop sees me. And animals? But...Gypsy Kings are singing "I Did It My Way" in Spanish and my speeds remain marginally safe and if I do crash at least there's no one else in the car to die with me! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This picture is of me and Phish on Valentine's Day last year at blues.
That pictures is of me and Brock at graduation. We managed to run into each other both days!
Obviously, the biggest change is that I am graduated. I am not as skinny as I was then. I don't go dancing quite as much. My hair is longer. That's about all I've got...
I feel a little bit self-conscious about using this. I feel like I mention my grandma too much, for some reason. That is her spoon ring, which she wore virtually every single day (I believe she used it to keep her wedding ring, which was just a little bit big, on her finger).
I keep it on that chain (because grandma had unbelievably skinny fingers) and I wear it on days when I miss her. Which I continue to do with a regularity I never expected. I wore it today, in fact. It's comforting to have something of hers that I can keep with me.
Dude, seriously? You had such a hard time coming up with prompts that you included "a picture of yourself" three times? (it's also the prompt for the last day) Come up with better prompts.
seems pretty accurate.
What's that? You want a different one? Ok...
This is possibly my favorite picture of me ever. Possibly.
Can you tell I'm blasting through these trying to get caught up?
I know, I know, I'm like two weeks behind. Like anyone actually cares.
This prompt is actually kind of hard because I, like my mother before me, don't really like being in pictures. That said, I just graduated, so tradition dictated that I take a few pictures with the parental units. Separately, of course, because that's how we bounce in this family. Also noticeably lacking are any and all siblings. But here are pictures of me with the various sets
I think I have the same face-shape as my dad. Also, in comparison to both him and Cristy...I have a gigantic noggin'!
apparently my mother was not even a little excited about my graduation because this is her expression in literally every picture. Sort of a "meh" kind of look...
This is a really hard question because I have many celebrity crushes and they change often. For instance, today I put on Law and Order: SVU to play in the background whilst I was at work and, as always happens when I watch that show, I fell deeply in love with the magnificent Elliot Stabler aka Christopher Meloni
look at these babies...so silly
I'll be honest, I don't think you could find a more viscerally attractive man to me than Elliot Stabler. He's big and strong and about as protective as it gets and I am a total sucker for that.
Then again, as I admitted in an earlier post, I absolutely have a thing for Chris Thile
I find him nerdy and adorable and I have this weird dream of us singing together cause I think our voices would match really well. And, I'll point out that he's about as opposite Chris Meloni as you can get.
Before I started watching L&O:SVU, however, I was watching Elementary. In my defense, I fell in love with Jonny Lee Miller several years ago when I saw him in...Emma and Mansfield Park and Eli Stone. But this show has not helped with the obsession. Because tattoos! And scruff!
But I originally fell in love with him for his eyes. I mean...look at them (cause those pictures up there are useless except for the tattoos)
Of course, if we're gonna talk about kind of goofy looking British men who I love passionately, you know who must be included
Objectively I can understand that he's not actually an especially handsome man, but that doesn't change the fact that I absolutely love his face and his all of him and would definitely make out with him at a party and try to convince him that we should go out for dinner.
Interestingly, as I'm thinking about all of these, most of these guys, with the marked exception of Meloni, are guys that I find adorable rather than "sexy" (so to speak). Thus, this next guy fits right in
You literally cannot get more adorable than Lee Pace. Like...it's physically impossible. With his sweet grin and gigantic eyebrows and his chucks....he is truly the pinnacle of adorable man-person.
But let's get crazy, cause you know I have some random people on this list...
but only young Gene Wilder...he got scary in his old age
I honestly believe that young Tim Robbins is my celebrity soulmate
this guy won me over when he played young Captain Picard and
if he were taller I would be hopeless
Anyway, I can't think of any more legitimate crushes off the top of my head. That is, I could come up with an endless stream of guys I think are attractive, but these are the guys I fantasize about meeting by chance and the two of us fall madly in love and get married and defy Hollywood pressures to remain happily married for forever. Which is not to say that this list is complete. If I think of any more I'll be sure to come update it. And I haven't even touched the topic of lady crushes, which is a whole other thing...
next up: Post 17: a photo of me and my family
ATTENTION!
not long after I wrote this I cam across this picture
I feel that it is important to include Fass here because, setting aside the issue of height, because I think he's a bit compact....he is kind of a perfect looking man. I mean. Really. Look at his face. Look at it. and his shoulders. and his hands. and his all of him. That man is the essence of masculine beauty right there.
It's late and I need to go to bed, but since this is the last post I need to get caught up and it is super lame, I figured I'd knock it out real quick. Here is a photo of Provo:
or, more accurately, a picture of BYU campus.... :-/
The thing is, that isn't very representative of where I live. So here are a few pictures that feel more accurate...
That's a bit of a glimpse at what my town looks like from inside. It's pretty nice.
tomorrow we have "your favorite musician and why?"
It just so happens that I made a trip out to Target today. This means that I purchased several things. To determine the very last thing I purchased I suppose I must consult my receipt
Even though I distinctly remember the cashier scanning these quite early (he was deeply confused by the fact that they were called hobo bags) they are the last items listed on the receipt. So we shall say they're the last items I bought. So here is a picture of them. Slightly irresponsible a purchase as they may have been, I am quite happy with them
I had initially thought to give the green and white striped one to Kara, but the more I look at it the more I like it. Not to mention she just snapchatted me that it looks like me. Which is a nice way we have of saying that we would never wear/carry/have whatever the other is showing us, but we appreciate that the other person likes it. So looks like two new purses for me! After I'm done writing this I think I'll check if I can fit my laptop into them. If so, that will make a very awesome purchase indeed. Always looking for ways to cart around this giant laptop...
Coming up next we have #10: A photo of my favorite place to eat...
This post is a day late, but only because I really got into this prompt. Planning a fantasy wedding when you don't have to consider constraints of money or your fiance's taste turns out to be a whole lot of fun (with just the slightest hint of bitterness because we're being honest and contrast makes everything taste better).
Perhaps this should have come first, but it wasn't till we'd both spent an unnecessary amount of time searching for the perfect dress for me that Kara asked me what the "essence" of my wedding would be. Once I figured this out it really helped me settle some of the "but I like allllll of them!" quandaries. Like what dress I would hypothetically wear. So without further ado, the "essence" of my wedding: organic, dreamy evening wedding with touches of Southern Gothic.
This leads us first to the venue. My ideal venue would be a southern plantation with a long avenue of southern oaks draped in Spanish moss, absolutely covered in twinkly glowy lights.
photo by Marc Walter
Imagine that just covered all over with glowy lights!
The tables would all be decorated with moss and flowers and vines and such. And there would be tables because, as this is a fantasy, I can afford to put on a big dinner like we had at Ralf's wedding. Full catered dinner for my close family and friends. Delicious food...in fact, I'd be willing to have exactly what Ralf had, because that food was freaking delicious! Anyway, I can't find any good pictures of what I'm imagining but imagine soft moss, candles, and windy twisty vines and woods. And the dishes are all clear glass that catch the light and are beautiful. This is where I would have it
Which leads to my colors. Here is a link to look at them (ish). It's hard to make exactly the right ones, but that's a pretty close idea. The primary colors would be the orange and charcoal, with the blue, heather, and green as accents. I deeply deeply long to have orange poppies involved in this, but I just don't know if they'll fit. But I will absolutely have roses. Because I love roses.
this is possibly the most perfect thing I could ever imagine
So we've got an evening wedding covered all over with lights, with the colors down. As far as things go, I guess we're just missing the dress and ring. Here you go:
I don't even want to know how expensive this dress is, but I could buy it here: http://www.allurebridals.com/products/8901
I could buy this here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/96725424/lovely-elvin-organic-flow-band?ref=market
So, obviously the dress would need to have a sleeves of some sort. I have some ideas, but I'm not sure exactly how I would do that. Also, I would want the bodice to be less crusty, more embroidered. And for the ring, I would just want to add a raw sapphire on the left in that space. A dark blue one.
So that's that for things. I also would say that my ideal wedding would also have a specific feeling. My favorite thing about Ralf's wedding was the way every single person came there with the intention of staying and having fun and dancing. It was literally a celebration. Not like so many of the weddings I've been to here in Utah where it's more like a ritualized meet and greet where people come, eat some food, hug the bride and groom, sit for a set number of minutes, and then leave. I want a real dinner, and I want actual dancing where all of the people dance, not just my dance friends. I want us to party late into the night. I want people to make new friends and talk to each other. That is also one of the most important parts of my dream wedding.
prompt 8 is a song to match my mood...so keep your eyes peeled today for that
I'm just going to point out...none of these are so much "writing" prompts as they are picture prompts. Annoying.
We're going to do this in two categories, actual reasonable pets, and fantasy pets you only get to have if you're a rajah in turn of the century India. First, normal pets
My current dog obsession is a blue brindled French Bulldog or Boston Terrier. Basically dogs with bat ears who look like they got their faces smashed in by a door. Look at these guys!
Look at him! They're so compact and squatty!
another frenchie
I literally cannot handle Frenchie puppies
Boston terriers have longer legs and are a little less powerfully built
puppy!!!
I would also like to have a cat. I don't really have a particular type in mind exactly (Russian Blues are pretty, as are Ragdolls) it's more of a personality thing. I'd need to meet the cat and see how we get on. But because cats rule the internet, here are some cute pictures of various cats for you to enjoy
Russian blue
ragdoll
black cat of indeterminate species
As for unrealistic pets...well...
obviously the slow loris
pygmy elephant, equally obvious
miniature giraffe...why are you still even questioning these....
a freaking tiger! Really any big cat, but especially a tiger
a hedgehog!
a real, normal sized elephant. It would not be my pet so much as my friend
a freaking river otter!!!
"'sup"
yes, an owl. Because I am part of the Harry Potter Generation
I'm pretty sure there are many more animals I have longed to own as a pet, but that's probably enough for one post. If you come back tomorrow you can find out what my dream wedding will look like!
*Edit*
Literally the minute I hit publish I thought of one more that needs to be included
And tomorrow I shall most likely try again. Rome was not built in a day, nor do species evolve over night. My Sexy Genius Hair is no more a simple endeavor than those, and so I press on with the struggle of looking effortless...
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